Monday, 19 July 2010

My Reason To Go On

Getting back to the midlands I noticed how the weather had changed.
We arrived from glorious sunshine to a cracking thunderstorm!
We were glad to put our feet up - again.
People ask me why do I walk and run if it takes me longer and is painful?
I have always enjoyed walking and after being told that in a couple of years I`d be in a wheelchair (that was ten years ago) my determination and stubborness has kept me going along with my companion.
My journey has been a painful one, but we all make the most of now and living the dream can bring its own rewards and as I have fulfilled all my goals, each day is different as I had not been expected to live this long, indeed their were days when I thought I won`t be here tomorrow, but inside I longed for another day.
Although I`m not the best of people, I have learnt from others what life can bring and the importance of keeping going and the benefits of helping others instead of wallowing in self pity.
I have drank myself into complete stupors, hoping to forget and I have been the bitterest of people, almost to the point of being permenantly on the boil, hating everyone and everything.
It has taken me over ten years to deal with my situation of which I shall tell you later, but I hope it is now making me a better, stronger person.
Life threatening incidents and the injuries sustained can make or break a person.
Some people have gained strength from their lives and incidents, but it nearly ruined me, as a person, and those around me, including my family, for which I am truly sorry and I hope they will forgive me one day, when I have learnt to forgive myself.
It is while I have been doing this journey that things have changed and the realisation that our journey can be different and we can change the paths we follow and the people I have spoken to have given me more inspiration than ever and I have inspired others, which has been a shock! but like I said before we all have a story to tell, its whether you want to forget it or live with it and carry on.
Sadly my memory is not so good, so writing things down gives me hope that I still can remember what I did and my next walk, little would I know that one year on how much the next walk and its people would be a huge influence to me and the direction of my journey.

1 comment:

  1. Kevin and I have always been extremely proud of you and we know how much you have had to endure and over come , you did it in your own way and your own time with the help of your beloved Willow . As long as you have the unconditional love of an animal it does not matter if the world is against you .Sometimes we just need time and space to find ourselves, and you have done this perfectly .You must always be true to yourself at all times . And at the end of the day you will always have us and we will be standing in your corner . Love Auntie Lynne XX